We got away from the farm for a couple of days to play tourists. As lovely as it was to enjoy a glass of wine from the hotel deck chairs right under the Duluth Aerial Lift Bridge, take in the expanse of a giant LAKE VIEW and nosh on some of Duluth's finest fare, it's nice to be home.
In these post-stay safe at home days, humanity is OUT! Duluth felt busy, so busy in fact that I often felt anxious and irritated. Have you heard the song "Overwhelmed" by Royals & the Serpent? These lyrics were the soundtrack for my Duluth vacation. "I get overwhelmed so easily. My anxiety creeps inside of me..."
Lyrics: Overwhelmed by Royals & the Serpent
To report suspicious activity (You can call 9-1-1 for immediate response) (And there's still no working cure for the virus)
Turn off the T.V, it's starting to freak me Out it's so loud, it's like my ears are bleeding What am I feeling? Can't look at the ceiling Light is so bright, it's like I'm over-heating
This mind isn't mine, who am I to judge? Oh, I should be fine, but it's all too much
I get overwhelmed so easily My anxiety creeps inside of me Makes it hard to breathe What's come over me? Feels like I'm somebody else
I get overwhelmed so easily My anxiety keeps me silent When I try to speak What's come over me? Feels like I'm somebody else I get overwhelmed
All of these faces who don't know what space is And crowds are shut down, I'm over-stimulated Nobody gets it, say I'm too sensitive I can't listen 'cause I'm eyeing the exits
This mind isn't mine, who am I to judge? Oh, I should be fine, but it's all too much
I get overwhelmed so easily My anxiety creeps inside of me Makes it hard to breathe What's come over me? Feels like I'm somebody else
I get overwhelmed so easily My anxiety keeps me silent When I try to speak What's come over me? Feels like I'm somebody else I get overwhelmed
I get overwhelmed
I should be fine, but it's all too much I should be fine, but I'm not (not)
I get overwhelmed so easily My anxiety creeps inside of me Makes it hard to breathe What's come over me? Feels like I'm somebody else
I get overwhelmed so easily Keeps me silent (Keeps me silent) What's come over me? Somebody, somebody else I get overwhelmed
This is the kind of song I would have loved to use in the classroom to open a discussion about anxiety, and how so often we humans feel overwhelmed. In Duluth, the noise, vibrations, traffic, crowds of people all left me feeling entirely overstimulated.
It also left me pondering our PANDEMIC-inspired present circumstances. I sense something has caused humanity to have entered into a quasi state of frenzy. Do I sense this because it's indeed the case, or have I been in such a quiet existence for so long now that it's hard to move back into that realm of city life where strangers press against you, lights are glaringly bright, things shake, thump and vibrate, and loud sounds regularly blare and bang in your ears?
When I was teaching, there were days when I'd gather my students from the lunchroom and could just feel their kinetic energy. I was supposed to keep them calm while we walked down the hallway past the gym and through the double doors to the playground, but in my own form of rebellion, I would occasionally allow students to run to the doors and exit. The kids would tear away full speed, arms flailing, legs flying out from behind, screaming or roaring as they burst through the double doors to welcome their 20 minutes of fresh air, play and freedom. With this energy, how was I ever going to get through the afternoon, I would wonder?
The way the world feels this summer, we've all just been left out for recess.
May you work through your anxiety in healthy ways. Take a walk. Eat a GIANT salad. Breathe. Be calm and quiet in the presence of others - they might be feeling overstimulated.
Sending love from the farm!
Sarah